Chapter 6: The Longest Drive
Ryan was already standing, already reaching for his jacket.
I was right behind him.
"What kind of accident?" I asked.
"How bad?"
"Carol just texted.
She said he fell.
At his apartment." Ryan was moving toward the door.
"She said he's conscious but they've taken him in."
I didn't look back at Selena.
I didn't say goodbye.
I don't know if she called after us.
I couldn't hear anything except the sound of my own breathing and the noise of the street as Ryan pushed through the door.
The drive to the hospital was twenty-two minutes.
I know because I watched the clock on the dashboard the entire way and counted.
Ryan drove.
I sat with my hands flat on my knees and did not let myself think past the next red light.
Matt was in a curtained bay in the emergency department when we arrived.
He had a bandage above his left eye and a look on his face that I recognized — the one he used when he was trying not to worry me.
"I'm fine," he said, before I could speak.
"You're in a hospital."
"It's a precaution.
I slipped on the step outside my building.
My elbow took most of it." He paused.
"And my face, apparently."
"Matt—"
"I'm fine, sweetheart.
I promise."
I sat down in the chair beside his bed and took his hand.
Ryan stood at the foot of the bed with his arms crossed, and I could see him doing the same thing I was doing — checking, cataloguing, reassuring himself.
"You scared me," I said.
"I know.
I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize for having an accident."
"I'm apologizing for scaring you.
Those are different things."
A nurse came in, checked his chart, and left again.
The curtain swayed.
"How did lunch go?" Matt asked.
I looked at him.
"Ryan texted me this morning," he said.
"Told me you were meeting her."
"Of course he did."
"So.
How did it go?"
Ryan and I exchanged a look.
"We were in the middle of it when you decided to fall down a flight of stairs," Ryan said.
Matt almost smiled.
"Terrible timing on my part."
"She knows about the video," I said.
"Carol's video.
We told her."
Matt was quiet for a moment.
"And?"
"She asked what we wanted.
Not — she didn't say she was sorry.
She asked what we wanted."
Matt nodded slowly.
He looked down at our joined hands.
"She's not going to change," he said.
It wasn't a question.
"I don't know."
"I do." He squeezed my fingers.
"But that's okay.
Because you know what she is now.
And she knows that you know.
And that changes things, even if she doesn't."
The curtain moved again.
Carol stepped in, slightly out of breath, still in her coat.
She stopped when she saw Matt sitting up, colour in his face, talking.
Her hand went to her chest.
"Oh thank God," she said.
"I came as fast as I could.
The text was so vague, I thought—"
"I'm all right," Matt said.
"Sit down, Carol.
You look like you've run a marathon."
She sat.
She looked at me.
Then back at Matt.
May you like
"I have to tell you both something," she said.
"Something I should have said a long time ago."
