Chapter 4: What Carol Knew
The reception ended the way most weddings do — in a blur of hugging and music and people pressing envelopes into your hands.
Ryan and I danced twice.
Matt sat at the family table and talked to Ryan's uncle for almost an hour, and whatever they discussed had the uncle laughing so hard he had to set down his drink.
Selena did not speak to Matt again that evening.
She moved through the room in a wide arc that kept her at a careful distance from him, from me, and from Carol.
I noticed.
I didn't say anything.
Ryan and I left for our hotel just after eleven.
Matt hugged me at the door.
"You okay?" he asked.
"I didn't know about the letter."
"I know."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
He looked at me for a moment.
"Because you would have cried before the doors even opened."
I laughed, which made me cry again, which made him laugh.
"Go," he said.
"Go be married."
I kissed his cheek and left.
Three days into our honeymoon, Carol called Ryan.
He stepped out onto the balcony to take it.
I watched him through the glass door.
His back was to me, but I could see the way his shoulders changed — the way they dropped, then went rigid, then dropped again.
He came back inside and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Carol filmed it," he said.
"Filmed what?"
"The toast.
All of it.
And after." He paused.
"She got Selena.
The comment she made at the table."
I sat down beside him.
"What did she do with it?"
"Nothing yet.
She wanted to ask me first." He looked at his hands.
"She said she's been watching my mother for years.
She said this wasn't the first time."
"Ryan—"
"She told me something else." He stopped.
"Tell me."
He looked up.
"Matt's scholarship.
The one he gave up.
Carol knew about it.
She said she was there when my mother found out — two years ago, at a family dinner.
My mother laughed.
She said, 'Well, at least he made one good decision in his life.'"
The room felt very still.
"She knew," I said.
"She knew what Matt gave up, and she still—"
"Yes."
I stood up.
I walked to the window and looked out at the water and didn't say anything for a long time.
"What do you want to do?" Ryan asked.
"I want to go home."
"We have four more days."
"I know." I turned around.
"I want to go home and I want to sit across from your mother and I want her to look me in the eye."
Ryan was quiet for a moment.
"Okay," he said.
"Okay."
May you like
He picked up his phone.
And somewhere back home, Carol was still waiting for his answer.
