Chapter 4: Six Months Gone
We sat at the kitchen table with the television still going down the hall.
Claire wrapped both hands around a glass of water she didn't drink.
I watched her find the words.
"It started three years ago," she said.
"We weren't married yet.
I found out I was pregnant and Jason was — he seemed happy.
At first."
"At first."
"He changed when I got further along.
He started saying things.
That I was too emotional.
That I was making bad decisions.
That he needed to manage things because I couldn't." She looked at the table.
"He started controlling what I ate.
What I took.
He said it was because he cared."
My stomach turned.
"What do you mean, what you took?"
"Vitamins.
Supplements.
He had this whole system.
He'd read about it online, he said.
He'd set them out every morning and watch me take them."
"Claire."
"I know." Her voice was flat.
"I know that now.
I didn't know it then."
"What happened to the baby?"
She was quiet for a moment.
"I went into early labor at twenty-six weeks.
They couldn't stop it.
She lived for nine hours." Her jaw tightened.
"Her name was Lily.
Jason never told anyone she existed.
He said it would be easier if we just — moved on."
I reached across the table and covered her hand with mine.
She didn't pull away but she didn't soften either.
She was somewhere past the point where comfort helped.
"After we lost her," she said, "I was in a bad place.
I stopped asking questions.
I just — let him take over.
He said he was protecting me.
I believed him."
"When did you stop believing him?"
"Six weeks ago.
Dr.
Reyes asked me to come in for a routine check.
Jason always comes to my appointments.
He sits right next to me and answers half the questions himself." She paused.
"But that day he had a work call he couldn't move.
So I went alone."
She finally took a sip of water.
"Dr.
Reyes closed the door and asked me how I was really doing.
Not the appointment version.
Really doing." Claire looked up at me.
"I started crying before I could answer.
I didn't even know I was going to."
"What did she say?"
"She asked me about my first pregnancy.
About the supplements.
She'd been reviewing my old records — from the hospital where I delivered Lily.
Some of the bloodwork had flagged something and nobody had followed up on it at the time." She set the glass down.
"She thinks the supplements Jason gave me caused the early labor."
The room felt very still.
"She thinks he did it on purpose?" I kept my voice level.
"She doesn't know.
She said she couldn't say that.
But she referred me to someone.
A patient advocate.
And she told me — she told me very clearly — that if Jason sent any instructions to the hospital before this birth, she needed to know where those instructions came from."
That was Rule 9.
That was what had changed the doctor's voice on the phone.
"She's been watching him," I said.
"She's been watching the situation." Claire pressed her lips together.
"Mom, I don't know what he was trying to do.
Maybe he panicked about the baby and made a terrible decision.
Maybe it was something worse.
I don't know.
But I'm scared.
I'm scared to deliver in that hospital with him standing next to me controlling every conversation."
Down the hall, the television switched off.
Footsteps.
Claire straightened in her chair.
I moved my hand off hers.
Jason appeared in the doorway.
He looked at both of us.
At the table.
At the untouched glass of water.
"You two have been in here a while," he said.
"Catching up," I said.
He looked at Claire.
"You should be resting.
You have an appointment tomorrow."
"I know," she said.
"I'll drive you." He said it to her but he was looking at me.
"I always drive her."
I smiled at him the way you smile at someone when you are deciding what to do next.
"Of course," I said.
"You're a very attentive husband, Jason."
Something shifted behind his eyes.
Not quite suspicion.
Something closer to a warning.
"I try to be," he said.
He went back down the hall.
A door closed.
May you like
Claire looked at me across the table.
"What do we do?" she whispered.
