Chapter 6: Everything She Had Been Building
Three days passed.
Luke spoke to his father twice more by phone.
He didn't tell me much about what was said — only that Robert was living in Arizona now, that he had remarried, that the marriage had ended, and that he had been sober for eleven years.
Luke said it quietly, like he was still deciding what to do with each piece of information.
Gabrielle moved through the house like a weather system.
Polite at meals.
Attentive to the children.
Careful around Luke in a way that looked like love but felt like strategy.
I stayed in the guest room — the one that had been ready all along, the one with the made bed and the open windows.
My back was slowly improving.
Mia brought me a heating pad without being asked.
She was nine years old and already paying attention to things adults thought children missed.
On the third evening, while Luke was putting the children to bed, Gabrielle came to my room.
She knocked.
I said come in.
She closed the door behind her.
"I want to talk to you," she said.
"Without Luke."
"All right," I said.
She sat in the chair by the window.
For a moment she didn't speak.
She looked at her hands.
"I know you think I'm a terrible person," she said.
"I think you did a terrible thing," I said.
"I'm not sure those are the same."
She looked up.
She hadn't expected that.
"I've been so afraid," she said.
"Since the beginning.
Since before we were even married.
Luke talks about you constantly.
He calls you first when something good happens.
He drives to see you when you're sick.
He—" She stopped.
"I always felt like I was in second place."
"You're his wife," I said.
"You're not in second place."
"It doesn't feel that way."
"I know." I kept my voice even.
"But making me sleep in a tent didn't move you up.
It just showed him what you were willing to do."
Her jaw tightened.
"I know that now."
"And hiding his father's letter?
Telling Robert that Luke didn't want to hear from him?"
She looked at the window.
"I thought if Robert came back, Luke would spend all his time on that too.
On him.
On you.
And there would be nothing left for me and the children."
"Gabrielle." I waited until she looked at me.
"Luke having a relationship with his father doesn't take anything from you.
Me visiting my grandchildren doesn't take anything from you.
Love isn't a fixed amount.
It doesn't run out."
She was quiet for a long moment.
"I've been talking to someone," she said finally.
"A therapist.
I started last year.
Luke doesn't know."
"Why haven't you told him?"
"Because I didn't want him to think something was wrong with me."
"Something is wrong with all of us," I said.
"That's not an insult.
It's just true."
She almost smiled.
Almost.
"I'm going to tell him," she said.
"About the therapist.
And I'm going to tell him I'm sorry.
Properly.
Not the kind of sorry that's really just an explanation."
"That would be a good start," I said.
She stood up.
She looked younger standing there, somehow.
Less armored.
"I don't expect you to forgive me," she said.
"I'm not there yet," I said honestly.
"But I'm not your enemy, Gabrielle.
I never was."
She nodded.
She went to the door.
Then she stopped.
"There's something else," she said.
"Something I didn't show Luke."
My chest tightened.
"What?"
She reached into her cardigan pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.
She set it on the dresser.
"It was in the envelope.
Behind the other documents.
I don't know if Robert meant to include it or not." She paused.
"It's about money.
A lot of money.
And your name is on it."
May you like
She left before I could ask anything more.
I looked at the folded paper on the dresser for a long time before I reached for it.
