Chapter 7: The Things Patricia Said When It Was Just the Two of Us
Three days after the gathering, Patricia came to the house.
She rang the bell instead of using her key.
I noticed that.
I opened the door and she was standing on the step with no bag, no coat despite the cold, her hands held slightly away from her sides the way people stand when they want to show they are not carrying anything dangerous.
"Marcus isn't here," I said.
"I know.
He told me." She paused.
"He said it was up to you."
I stepped back from the door.
She came in and stood in the hallway and looked at the house the way people look at places they have been many times but are suddenly not sure they recognize.
"Do you want tea?" I asked.
"Please."
I made it.
She sat at the kitchen table and waited.
I set the cup in front of her and sat across from her and neither of us said anything for a moment.
Then she said: "I've been trying to find the right place to start."
"Start wherever you need to."
She wrapped both hands around the cup.
"I told myself I was protecting the family.
That's what I said to myself every time I passed information to Daniel.
Every time I answered one of his questions about your accounts, your schedule, which documents were in your name." She looked at the table.
"I told myself you were a risk.
That you were too young, that Marcus had moved too fast, that if it fell apart the family would lose everything."
"And now?"
"Now I know I was protecting myself." She looked up.
"I was the one who introduced Marcus to Daniel.
I was the one who brought him into the company in the first place.
If the business failed, if Marcus lost everything, it would have been partly my fault.
And I couldn't—" She stopped.
"I couldn't carry that.
So when Daniel came to me with a plan that meant Marcus would still be wealthy, just — reorganized — I let myself believe it was reasonable."
"He was going to st0le from us, Patricia."
"I know."
"He forged my signature."
"I know."
"He knew what Renee was planning to do at that gathering and he didn't stop it."
Her hands tightened around the cup.
"I didn't know that part.
I want you to know that.
I didn't know what she was going to do.
When she sh0ved you—" Her voice broke slightly.
"When I saw that, I knew I had made a terrible mistake.
But I also knew that if I said anything, everything would come out.
So I stood there."
"I know," I said.
"I watched you."
She looked at me.
"I watched your face when it happened," I said.
"You knew.
And you stayed quiet.
That's the part I keep coming back to."
She didn't look away.
"I know."
"You could have said something in that moment and you didn't.
And I was standing there seven months pregnant trying not to fall, and my baby—" I stopped.
Steadied myself.
"My baby could have been h*rt."
"Yes." Her voice was very small.
"I know."
We sat with that for a moment.
Then I said: "What do you want from this conversation, Patricia?"
She was quiet for a long time.
"I don't want forgiveness.
I don't think I've earned that.
I just wanted to say it to your face.
Not through Marcus, not through a solicitor.
To you." She looked at me directly.
"I'm sorry.
For all of it.
For what I did and for what I didn't do when I should have."
I looked at her across the table.
The woman who had fed information to people who wanted me gone.
Who had stood silent while someone sh0ved me from behind.
Who had, in her own distorted way, believed she was doing the right thing until the moment she couldn't believe it anymore.
"I hear you," I said.
It was not forgiveness.
It was not the door closing.
But it was the truth, and she received it without flinching.
She finished her tea.
She stood up.
She carried the cup to the sink and rinsed it without being asked.
At the door she turned once.
"The baby," she said.
"Is everything — is she alright?"
"She," I said.
"We found out this week.
A girl."
Patricia's face did something complicated and quiet.
"Marcus must be—"
"He cried for about twenty minutes," I said.
She almost smiled.
It didn't quite make it.
"Good," she said softly.
"That's good."
She left.
May you like
I stood in the hallway for a moment after the door closed.
Then I went back to the kitchen and finished my tea.
