Chapter 5: The Apology That Wasn't
Brenda arrived at nine the next morning in a cream-colored blouse and her best pearls.
She had brought flowers.
Pale pink roses, still wrapped in the tissue from the florist.
She held them out to me at the door with a smile that had been practiced in a mirror.
"These are for you," she said.
"I owe you an apology."
I stepped back to let her in.
My mom was already at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee.
She didn't stand up when Brenda walked in.
She just watched.
Brenda noticed.
Her smile didn't waver.
We sat down.
Lucas poured coffee.
Nobody spoke until Brenda set the roses on the table and folded her hands and looked at me with an expression of deep, theatrical regret.
"What I said yesterday was wrong," she began.
"It was thoughtless and unkind, and you didn't deserve it.
I hope you can forgive me."
The kitchen was quiet.
"That's it?" my mom said.
Brenda's eyes moved to her.
"I beg your pardon?"
"That's the apology.
Thoughtless and unkind." My mom set her coffee cup down.
"Not a word about why you said it.
Not a word about the three years of comments before yesterday.
Just — thoughtless and unkind."
"Mom," Lucas said.
"No, she's right." I kept my voice level.
"Brenda, I've been your daughter-in-law for four years.
I have never once been rude to you.
I have never spoken badly about you to Lucas.
I have driven three hours to be at your birthday dinners and sat quietly while you told me my hair was too flat and my clothes were too plain and I wasn't raising my voice enough at parties." I paused.
"Yesterday you stood in front of fifty people and told me my husband would be embarrassed to be seen with me.
While I am seven months pregnant with your grandchild."
Brenda's hands tightened in her lap.
"I said I was sorry."
"I heard you." I looked at her steadily.
"I want to know why."
"I told you.
It was thoughtless —"
"Why have you spent four years trying to make me feel like I'm not enough for your son?"
The question landed in the room and stayed there.
Brenda opened her mouth.
Closed it.
Looked at Lucas.
Lucas looked back at her and said nothing.
"I just want what's best for him," she said finally.
"And you don't think I'm that."
"I didn't say —"
"You've been saying it for four years, Brenda.
In a hundred different ways." I leaned forward slightly.
"So I'll ask you again.
Why?"
The pearls at her throat moved as she swallowed.
"You're being very unfair."
"Am I." It wasn't a question.
"I came here to apologize.
I came here in good faith, and you're —" She stopped.
Recalibrated.
When she spoke again, her voice had shifted into something softer, more wounded.
"Lucas, are you going to let her speak to me this way?"
Lucas set his coffee cup down.
"Yeah, Mom.
I am."
Brenda stared at him.
"She's asking you a fair question," he said.
"I'd like to hear the answer too."
The wounded expression flickered.
Underneath it, just for a moment, was something sharper.
Then it was gone, and Brenda reached for her bag.
"I can see this isn't the right time," she said.
"You're both still upset.
I'll give you some space and we can try again when everyone has calmed down."
She was already pushing her chair back.
"Sit down, Brenda," my mom said.
The authority in her voice was so quiet and so absolute that Brenda actually stopped.
"We're not finished," my mom said.
"And I think you know that."
Brenda looked at the door.
Then at Lucas.
Then at me.
She sat back down.
"There's something else," my mom said.
"And I think it's time we talked about it directly.
Don't you?"
May you like
The roses sat between us on the table, still wrapped, still perfect.
Brenda's hands were no longer folded.
