Chapter 6: What Lynn Knew
Lynn arrived at nine the next morning with her coat still buttoned and her face set in the expression she'd worn since she was fourteen when she'd already decided how she felt about something and was waiting for you to catch up.
She kissed my cheek.
She did not go looking for Dean.
"Sit down," I said.
"Where is he?"
"In the study.
Sit down, Lynn."
She sat.
I poured coffee.
She wrapped both hands around the mug and looked at me across the table.
"How are you?" she asked.
"I'm managing."
"That's not what I asked."
"It's what I have right now."
She accepted that.
"Tell me what happened.
From the beginning.
Dad's version was — he was upset.
I couldn't get a clear picture."
I told her.
All of it.
The restaurant, the follow, the confrontation, the doorbell, the letter, the Saturday visit, the phone message.
I kept my voice even.
I watched her face move through things as I talked — shock, anger, something more complicated at the end.
When I finished she was quiet for a moment.
"He has a son," she said.
"Yes."
"I have a brother."
The word sat between us.
"A half-brother," I said.
"Technically."
"He's twenty-five."
"Yes."
"He's only four years younger than me."
"I know."
She stood up and walked to the window.
Her coffee stayed on the table.
"Did Dad know when he married you?"
"No.
He genuinely didn't know."
"But he's known for eight weeks and said nothing."
"Yes."
She turned around.
"That's what I can't get past.
Not Ethan.
Not even Sandra.
The eight weeks."
"I know."
"You're not more angry about that?"
"I'm very angry about that," I said.
"I'm just not performing it for you."
She looked at me for a moment.
Then she almost smiled.
"Fair enough." She came back to the table and sat down.
"Have you thought about what you want to do?"
"About which part?"
"Any of it.
All of it."
"I've thought about very little else." I turned my mug in my hands.
"I'm not leaving him, if that's what you're asking.
Not over this.
What he did — keeping it from me — was wrong.
But what happened before we married wasn't a betrayal.
It was a secret that wasn't his to keep by the time he found out."
"Some people would disagree with that."
"Some people can."
Lynn was quiet.
Then: "What's he like?
Ethan?"
"Careful.
Thoughtful.
He brought shortbread."
She laughed.
It surprised her.
"Shortbread."
"Homemade."
"Good Lord." She shook her head.
"And you want to — what?
Have him in our lives?"
"I want to let it develop honestly.
I'm not going to pretend he doesn't exist.
And I'm not going to make Dean choose between his son and his marriage.
That's not a choice I'm willing to force."
"What about Noah?"
I hadn't expected that question.
It stopped me.
"Eventually," I said.
"When things are steadier.
Noah doesn't need to understand all of it right away.
He just needs to know there's a new person who matters."
Lynn nodded slowly.
"Can I meet him?
Ethan?"
"I think he'd like that."
She picked up her coffee.
It was cold by now.
She drank it anyway.
"You're handling this better than I would."
"I'm not handling it well," I said.
"I'm handling it one hour at a time.
There's a difference."
She reached across and squeezed my hand.
Just briefly.
"I want to talk to Dad," she said.
"He's in the study."
She stood up.
Straightened her coat even though she was inside.
Took a breath.
"Lynn." She stopped.
"Be hard on him.
But don't be cruel.
He's already being cruel enough to himself."
She looked at me for a moment.
Then she nodded and went down the hallway.
I heard the study door open.
I heard Dean say her name.
I heard the door close.
I sat at the kitchen table and finished my coffee.
Through the wall, I couldn't make out words.
Just voices.
Lynn's, sharp and steady.
Dean's, lower, slower.
After a while, Lynn's voice softened.
I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath until I let it go.
Then my phone rang.
A number I didn't recognize.
I almost didn't answer.
"Hello?"
A woman's voice.
Quiet.
A little breathless.
May you like
"Carol?
This is Sandra."
