Chapter 10: What Garrett Owed Us
Three days later, Garrett called.
I let it ring the first time.
The second time, I picked up.
"I owe you more than a conversation through a door," he said.
"Can I come over?
I'd like to talk to the kids too, if you'll let me."
I thought about it.
"Come Saturday.
Dinner."
He came.
He arrived with flowers for no reason, which was not something Garrett ever did, and I think the kids noticed.
Liam looked at the flowers and then at me with an expression that said he understood something significant was happening.
We ate first.
Garrett was quieter than usual.
The kids were watchful.
After dinner, I sent Sophie to do homework and asked Liam and Maya to stay.
"Your uncle has something he wants to say," I said.
Garrett set his hands on the table.
He looked at Liam first, then Maya.
"I knew your mom before your dad did," he said.
"We were together for a while.
A long time ago.
I should have told your dad that when he first introduced us.
I didn't.
That was wrong, and I've thought about it for a long time." He paused.
"I also kept some things from your dad after your mom got sick.
She asked me to, and I honored that, but I've had to sit with whether that was the right call.
I don't think it was.
I think your dad deserved to know sooner."
Liam was watching him steadily.
"Did you love her?"
Garrett didn't hesitate.
"Yes.
A long time ago."
"And then Dad came along."
"Yes."
"And she chose him."
"Yes."
Liam considered that.
"Okay," he said finally.
"I'm not going to pretend that's not weird.
But I get it."
Garrett nodded.
"It is weird.
You're allowed to think so."
Maya had been watching Garrett the whole time.
"Mom trusted you," she said.
"She told you things she didn't tell Dad."
"She did."
"Do you think she was right to do that?"
Garrett was quiet for a moment.
"I think she was trying to protect the people she loved the most.
I think she made some choices that weren't fair to your dad.
And I think she knew that, and it was part of why she was so scared at the end." He looked at Maya carefully.
"She talked about you, you know.
In those last calls.
She said you were the one she worried about least, because you always seemed to know exactly what you were doing."
Maya's expression didn't change.
But her eyes went briefly bright.
"She was wrong about that," Maya said.
"I was scared the whole time."
"I know," Garrett said.
"That's what made it brave."
After Garrett left, I stood on the porch for a few minutes in the cold.
The street was quiet.
A neighbor's porch light was on down the block.
The door opened behind me and Maya came out with my jacket.
"You forgot this," she said.
I put it on.
She stood beside me.
"Are you going to forgive him?" she asked.
"Garrett?"
"Yes."
I thought about it honestly.
"Eventually.
Not yet.
But eventually."
She nodded.
"What about Mom?"
I looked at the street.
"Your mom was a person," I said.
"She made mistakes.
She was also the woman who raised three incredible kids mostly on her own before I came along, and who loved all of us the best way she knew how, even when she got things wrong." I paused.
"I don't think forgiveness is the right word for what I feel about her.
I think I'm just trying to understand her."
Maya leaned against my arm slightly.
"I think she'd be glad you found the box," she said.
"Even though she was scared of it.
I think part of her wanted you to know."
"Why do you think that?"
"Because she kept it," Maya said.
"She had years to get rid of it.
She kept it."
May you like
I didn't have an answer for that.
We stood on the porch a little longer, and then the cold got serious and we went inside.
