Chapter 5: The Drive Home
Mia fell asleep before we reached the highway.
Robert had walked her to my car without being asked.
He buckled her in while I stood on the other side of the parking lot, breathing.
When he straightened up and closed the door, he walked over to me.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"You don't need to apologize for her."
"I know.
I'm apologizing for myself." He paused.
"I've seen things over the years.
I told myself it wasn't my place.
That's not a good enough reason.
I know that now."
I looked at him.
In four years, this was the longest conversation we'd ever had.
"What things?" I asked.
He was quiet for a moment.
"The first Christmas you came to the house.
Patricia told everyone you'd said you didn't want to do a gift exchange.
You hadn't said that.
She'd decided it for you and told everyone it was your preference."
I remembered that Christmas.
I had shown up with gifts for everyone and felt the strange cold confusion when no one had anything for me.
Daniel had said his family didn't really do gifts.
I had believed him.
"There were other things," Robert said.
"Small things.
Seating arrangements.
Plans that were made without including you.
Comments about Mia that I should have pushed back on."
"What comments about Mia?"
He looked at me carefully.
"Patricia has never said anything openly.
She's too careful for that.
But there have been — preferences.
Which grandchildren she mentions.
Which ones she plans things around." He stopped.
"Mia is not one of them."
The parking lot was quiet.
Somewhere behind us, the restaurant doors opened and closed.
"Why are you telling me this now?" I asked.
"Because I saw that photograph," he said.
"And I realized I had been telling myself a story about my wife that was easier than the truth."
I didn't know what to say to that.
I wasn't sure I needed to say anything.
"What will you do?" he asked.
"I don't know yet."
He nodded.
He seemed to accept that.
"Mia is a good girl," he said.
"She sat with me out here and told me about a book she's reading.
Something about a mouse who wants to be a chef."
Despite everything, I almost smiled.
"She's been reading that one for three weeks."
"She knows every recipe in it."
He stepped back.
Gave me space to get into the car.
"Robert," I said.
"The things you've seen.
Would you be willing to write them down?"
He looked at me for a long moment.
"Yes," he said.
"I would."
I drove home with Mia sleeping in the back and the recording on my phone and Robert's answer still sitting in my chest like something that had just shifted into place.
Daniel's car was not in the driveway when I got home.
I didn't check my phone for messages.
I carried Mia inside, took off her shoes, and tucked her in without waking her.
I sat on the edge of her bed in the dark for a while.
Then I went to the kitchen, poured a glass of water, and called my sister.
She answered on the second ring.
"Tell me," she said.
May you like
She always knew.
So I did.
