Chapter 1: The Night He Asked for Everything and Offered Nothing
I went into our tenth anniversary dinner thinking my husband had planned something sweet.
We got dressed up, hired a babysitter, and went to a restaurant we usually only chose for special occasions.
For once, there were no kids talking over us.
No dishes piled in the sink.
No laundry running somewhere in the house.
It was just the two of us.
I sat there with my wine, thinking about how unbelievable it was that ten years had passed so fast.
Then my husband said, "I've been thinking about something that might actually be good for us."
From the way he said it, I figured he was about to suggest a vacation.
Maybe couples therapy.
Maybe just making more time for each other.
Instead, he looked directly at me and said, "What would you think about opening the marriage?"
For a second, I honestly thought I had misheard him.
"Opening it?"
"You know," he said.
"Being allowed to see other people sometimes."
On our anniversary.
Of all possible nights.
I just sat there staring at him, but apparently, he took my silence as permission to keep going.
He started explaining that ever since we had kids, I was "always tired."
Between managing the house, school schedules, meals, errands, appointments, and everything else, apparently I didn't have enough energy left over for him.
And somehow, in his mind, opening our marriage was the solution.
"I could go out occasionally," he said.
"Have some fun.
Then you wouldn't feel pressured to keep me happy all the time."
That was the part that almost made me laugh.
He had actually managed to convince himself that this idea was somehow meant to help me.
Apparently, it had never crossed his mind that if I was exhausted all the time, he could simply do more at home.
He could handle bedtime.
Make dinner.
Do a load of laundry.
Pick the kids up from school.
Give me one evening where nobody needed something from me.
But apparently not.
His genius solution to having an exhausted wife was for me to keep doing everything while he went out and dated other women.
For maybe thirty seconds, I was furious.
I wanted to ask if he already had someone in mind.
I wanted to know how long he had been preparing that speech.
Part of me wanted to pour my drink straight into his lap and walk out, leaving him alone with the anniversary bill.
Then something shifted in my head.
And just like that, I stopped being angry.
Because I suddenly understood exactly what kind of "open marriage" my husband had been imagining.
One where he got all the freedom.
And absolutely nothing else in his life had to change.
So instead of arguing, I smiled.
"Okay."
He blinked.
"Okay?"
"If that's really what you want," I said, lifting my glass, "then yes.
We can open the marriage."
I have never watched someone's mood change that fast.
His entire body relaxed.
A huge grin spread across his face.
He looked almost thrilled, like he couldn't believe the conversation had gone this smoothly.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
He picked up his drink, looking like a man who had just won the lottery.
The poor man had absolutely no idea why I had agreed.
I let him sit there, enjoying that feeling for a few more seconds.
May you like
Then I leaned across the table.
"There's just one condition."
