Chapter 6: What You Tell a Six-Year-Old
I went to the hallway.
Lucas was sitting on the bottom stair, still holding his plate of cake.
He'd eaten about half of it.
There was frosting on his chin.
I sat down next to him on the step.
"Hey, bug."
"Is Daddy coming back tonight?"
I put my arm around him.
He leaned into me the way he always did, automatically, like it was just what his body did when I was close.
"Not tonight," I said.
He was quiet for a moment.
"Is it because of the lady?"
"Partly."
"I didn't like her," he said.
Not with anger.
Just as a fact, the way six-year-olds state things.
"She smelled like Daddy's car."
I didn't say anything to that.
"Daddy said you were going on a long trip," Lucas said.
"He said it was for work.
He said you'd be gone for a really long time and that things would be different when you came back." He looked up at me.
"But you came home."
"I came home."
"Did you know about the trip?"
"No, baby.
I didn't."
He thought about that.
"So Daddy got it wrong?"
I looked at my son's face.
The frosting on his chin.
The way he was watching me, very carefully, trying to understand something that was too large for him.
"Daddy made some choices that hurt our family," I said.
"And now we have to figure out what happens next.
But here's what doesn't change — you are safe.
You are loved.
And I am not going anywhere."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
He leaned his head against my shoulder.
"Okay."
We sat there for a moment.
Carol appeared at the end of the hallway, saw us, and quietly went back into the kitchen.
Then Lucas said: "Daddy told me something else."
I kept my voice even.
"What did he tell you?"
"He said if I was ever scared or confused, I should ask Grandpa Dennis.
He said Grandpa Dennis would explain everything."
I went very still.
Dennis was Nathan's father.
We had a civil relationship — Sunday dinners twice a year, birthday cards, nothing more.
He'd never been particularly warm to me.
I'd always assumed it was just his personality.
"When did Daddy say that?" I asked.
"Last week." Lucas picked at his cake.
"He said it a few times.
He said Grandpa Dennis would help me understand when things changed."
I kept my arm around Lucas and kept my face calm.
But something cold had settled in my chest.
Nathan's father had been prepared.
Coached, even.
Which meant this wasn't a plan Nathan had made alone in a panic.
It was something that had been discussed.
Organized.
Shared with family.
May you like
Which meant at least one more person had known.
And had said nothing.
