Chapter 6: For Daniel

I opened the box that night after Carrie went to sleep.
I sat at the kitchen table with a glass of water I didn't drink and lifted the tape carefully, as if the box might close again if I wasn't gentle.
Inside was a letter.
Handwritten, four pages, on the yellow legal pad paper Natalie always used for anything important.
Beneath it, a smaller sealed envelope with *Carrie — when she's ready* written on the front.
And beneath that, a USB drive with a strip of white tape labeled *Video.*
I read the letter first.
She had written it eight months before she d*ed, when she'd first been told the prognosis was serious.
Her handwriting was steady.
That was the first thing I noticed.
She had written it without shaking.
*Daniel — if you're reading this, then things went the way I was afraid they might.
I want you to know that I am not afraid of what comes next for me.
What I am afraid of is what comes next for Carrie.*
*There is something I should have told you sooner.
Victor knows about the insurance policy.
I made the mistake of telling my cousin Diane about it two years ago, and Diane and Victor have been in contact on and off since he left.
I don't know if he'll act on it.
I hope he won't.
But I kept his emails, and I kept this letter, because I wanted you to have the full picture if he ever showed up.*
*He is not a dangerous man.
He is a weak one.
But weak men with nothing left to lose can cause a great deal of damage.*
*The USB drive is a video I recorded last spring.
I spoke directly to the camera for about twenty minutes.
I said everything I would have said in court if I'd had the chance.
I said it for Carrie, and I said it for you, and I said it for any judge who might one day need to understand what kind of father you already are.*
*Don't let him take her, Daniel.
Not because of the money — she doesn't need the money if she has you.
Don't let him take her because she has already lost enough.*
*You told her we shouldn't waste a single day.
You have been keeping that promise every day since.
Keep keeping it.*
*— Natalie*
I sat with the letter for a long time.
Then I picked up the USB drive.
The video was exactly what she'd described.
Natalie, seated at her kitchen table — the same table where Carrie now did her homework — speaking directly and clearly to the camera.
She described Victor's departure.
She read two of his emails aloud.
She described Carrie's life, her routines, her fears, her joys.
She described me.
She said, near the end: *"Daniel Hartley has been more of a father to my daughter in fourteen months than Victor Marsh was in four years of living in the same house.
I am not saying this out of bitterness.
I am saying it because it is the most important true thing I know."*
I closed the laptop.
I called Gerald at nine-thirty.
He picked up on the second ring.
"She left a video," I said.
"Recorded testimony.
She anticipated this."
Silence on the line.
"Send it to me tonight," he said.
"Daniel — this is significant.
A recorded statement from the child's biological mother, made before her death, specifically addressing the father's history and the child's best interests.
Depending on the judge, this could be decisive."
"How do we use it?"
"We submit it as evidence in the custody evaluation.
We pair it with the emails, the civil judgment, and your updated medical file." He paused.
"His attorney is going to try to discredit it.
They'll say she was ill, that her judgment was compromised."
"She wrote four pages by hand without a single crossed-out word," I said.
"Her judgment was fine."
"I know that.
We'll make sure the court knows it too."
After I hung up, I sat in the quiet kitchen for a while.
Carrie's drawing was still on the refrigerator.
She'd made it in art class two months ago — two figures, one tall, one small, standing in front of a house.
She'd written *home* across the top in purple marker.
May you like
I hadn't moved it since she put it up.
I wasn't going to.