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"How long?" / Chapter 5 / 9

Chapter 5: The First Time She Saw His Face

The Maspeth location was a nondescript building that Sokolov's people had used as a secondary storage facility.

Marco's team had secured it in under four minutes.

By the time Luca arrived, the street outside was quiet and the men inside were standing back from the door with the particular careful posture of people who understood that what was about to happen was not their moment.

Marco met him at the entrance.

"She's inside.

Back room.

One of the women from the neighborhood — Sokolov's people grabbed her too, to keep Emma calm." He paused.

"She's been good with her.

Emma doesn't know what happened.

She thinks it was a car ride."

Luca absorbed that.

"Rachel?"

"On her way.

Ten minutes out."

He nodded.

Walked inside.

The building smelled of dust and cold concrete.

His men stood in the main room, eyes forward, none of them looking at him directly.

He passed through a short corridor and stopped at the door at the end.

He could hear her through it.

Not crying.

Talking.

A small, clear, entirely certain voice explaining something to someone about the correct way to hold Mr.

Buttons so that his ears didn't fold down.

Because folded ears, apparently, meant he was sad.

And he shouldn't be sad right now.

Luca stood at that door for longer than he intended.

Then he pushed it open.

The room was small.

A folding table, two chairs, a bare bulb overhead.

A woman in her forties sat on the floor with her back against the wall, and beside her, cross-legged, with Mr.

Buttons held carefully in both hands, was Emma.

Dark curls.

Green sweater — the same one from the photograph.

Crayon smudges on her left hand that had survived whatever the last several hours had thrown at her.

She looked up when the door opened.

Luca stepped inside and stopped.

Emma looked at him with the direct, uncomplicated attention of a child who had not yet learned to be careful about what she let her face show.

She looked at his arm.

The bandage visible at his collar.

The hospital bracelet he still hadn't removed.

Then she looked at his face.

"You got hurt," she said.

It was not a question.

It was an observation delivered with the solemn authority of someone who took injuries seriously.

"Yes," Luca said.

"Does it still hurt?"

"A little."

She considered this.

Then held Mr.

Buttons out toward him.

"He helps."

Luca crossed the room and sat down on the floor in front of her.

Not in a chair.

On the floor.

At her level.

The woman against the wall watched him carefully.

He gave her a small nod.

She stood quietly and moved toward the door, giving them space without being asked.

Emma watched her go.

Then looked back at Luca.

"Are you one of the men who watches?" she said.

His chest tightened.

"What do you mean?"

"Mama says there are men who watch to keep us safe." She tilted her head.

"Are you one of those?"

He looked at her.

At the dark curls and the green sweater and the crayon on her hand and the bear she was still holding out toward him because she had decided, with the complete confidence of a three-year-old, that it would help.

"Yes," he said.

"I'm one of those."

She nodded as if this confirmed something she had already suspected.

Then she looked at him more carefully.

"What's your name?"

The question sat between them.

He had negotiated with men who controlled ports and politicians and federal prosecutors.

He had sat across tables from people who wanted him d*ad and spoken with perfect calm.

He had no calm for this.

"Luca," he said.

Emma repeated it quietly, testing the sound of it.

Then her eyes went slightly wider.

Not with fear.

With something else.

Recognition, maybe.

Or the particular feeling of a word finally matching the shape it had always had in her mind.

"Mama says that name," she said.

"I know."

"She says it when she thinks I'm sleeping."

He couldn't speak for a moment.

"Emma," he said finally.

"I need to tell you something."

She waited.

She was remarkably good at waiting for a three-year-old.

"I've been away for a long time." His voice was steady.

He made it steady.

"And that was wrong.

I should have come sooner."

She looked at him.

"Why didn't you?"

He had prepared nothing for this question.

He had prepared for Sokolov.

For the dock.

For the federal call.

For all the hard and dangerous things.

Not for this.

"I was scared," he said.

Emma absorbed this.

She looked down at Mr.

Buttons.

Then back up.

"I get scared too," she said.

"Mama says it's okay to be scared but you still have to do the thing."

Something broke open in his chest that he suspected would not close again for a very long time.

"Your mama is right," he said.

Emma held Mr.

Buttons out again.

More firmly this time.

An instruction, not a suggestion.

He took the bear from her small hands.

She watched him hold it.

Checked that he was doing it correctly — ears up, not folded.

Apparently satisfied.

Then she leaned forward and, with the complete unselfconsciousness of a child who had decided a thing and was simply doing it, put both arms around his neck.

He sat very still.

His shoulder screamed.

He didn't move.

He put his right arm around her, carefully, and she settled against him with the total trust of someone who had already decided this was safe and saw no reason to question it further.

From the doorway came the sound of footsteps stopping.

He looked up.

Rachel stood in the entrance.

Her coat was still on.

Her eyes were red.

She looked at him holding their daughter on the floor of a cold room in Maspeth at two in the morning, and she pressed one hand over her mouth.

He looked at her.

She looked at him.

Emma, her face against his shoulder, said: "Mama.

His name is Luca.

He was scared but he came anyway."

Rachel made a sound that was not quite a laugh and not quite a sob.

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"I know, baby," she said.

"I know."

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